You see your loved ones struggling as they go through the ups and downs of late adulthood. And you want to have that talk to parents about assisted living, yet you cannot find the courage and the right words or timing to do it. While elder care and assisted living are becoming more and more common, the fear that your loved ones may have a hostile reaction is enough reason to delay the process. Of course, you do not want your parents to feel as if you are forcing them out of your home. So, how do you go about with this conversation?
Educating Yourself About Assisted Living Options
Before you talk to your loved ones about assisted living, you need to equip yourself first with the proper knowledge about how this option would work best for them. The level of care given in an assisted living setup may vary from one state to another. So be sure to check your options properly. Understanding the cost, your financial situation and funding opportunities may also help. Make sure to strike a balance between what you can afford and how you can give your parents what they need.
Slowly Introduce Your Plans during a Daily Conversation
Once you have learned more about assisted living, try to present the possibility to your parents during a conversation over dinner or while hanging out in the living room. Make sure that when you talk about it to your loved ones, relay them in a casual manner. Never prod the topic if they seem agitated or unready to discuss it deeper.
Involve Your Loved Ones in the Decision Making
They may be in the stage of late adulthood, but it is no doubt that your parent will want to take an active role in deciding the community where they want to settle for assisted living. If their health and doctor permit them, let your loved ones come with you in checking out some living communities. You may also take them to friends who have shifted to assisted living. This will give them an idea of the life ahead should they choose to transition to one.
Use Positive Language when Talking about Assisted Living
Your loved ones may feel upset when you blatantly mention about the idea of “transferring them to another community.” Thus, you should learn to use non-offensive and positive words when talking to them about assisted living. Highlight the benefits they can gain such us the amenities, the different activities and the social interactions with this kind of community. How you say it is also as crucial as to what you are going to say, so, make sure you talk in a calm and friendly tone so it won’t appear that you are being pushy about it.
Acknowledge Why Your Parents Might Want to Stay at Home
Your parents might not be able to convey it, but they are uneasy with the idea of living in another community, since it might be their last residence. They may not be ready yet for the changes and they are afraid of losing their independence once they go for assisted living. Also, they may not express it but they may be anxious that your relationship with them will be diminished. Acknowledging these concerns, you will be able to relate more with your loved ones and find the most suitable responses to their queries.
Talking about assisted living with your parent does not happen overnight. It is a process that should not be taken ever so lightly. Once you are in this conversation, reassure your parents that at the end of the day, it’s their comfort that matters.
