According to the National Ageing Research Institute, as many as 20% of adults over the age of 65 struggle with prolonged grief. Since it doesn’t provide closure, an ambiguous loss may also cause extended bereavement.

An unresolved loss can cause grief and uncertainty, leading to self-isolation, emotional pain, and impaired functioning. What exactly is ambiguous loss, and how can you cope? Read on to find out.

What Is Ambiguous Loss?

Usually, when we hear the word “grief,” we imagine a physical loss. However, you can still experience ambiguous grief if a loved one hasn’t died. Since this type of loss doesn’t provide closure, it can be difficult to cope.

Many people struggle to identify the emotions they’re experiencing after an ambiguous loss. In fact, many don’t realize they’re grieving in the first place. Unlike traditional grief, ambiguous grief isn’t always recognized by others.

This type of grief can trigger feelings of:

Rumination
Anger
Guilt
Numbness
Sorrow
Bitterness
Persistent longing

Types of Ambiguous Grief

There are two main types of ambiguous grief: goodbye without leaving and leaving without goodbye.

Goodbye without leaving grief occurs when someone is still alive but not emotionally a part of your life. Events that can trigger this type of grief include:

Divorce
Estrangement
A chronic illness
Relocation to a new country

For example, perhaps someone is taking care of a loved one with dementia. As the senior forgets who they are, the caregiver may feel a sense of loss and grief (caregiver grief). Goodbye without leaving grief occurs when a relationship with someone ends or significantly changes.

Leaving without goodbye occurs when someone is physically gone, but it’s unclear if they’re alive. Events that can trigger this type of grief include:

Addiction
A parent abandoning the family
When a person goes missing

These events cause a lack of closure, which can intensify feelings of grief.

Coping With Unresolved Loss

Since everyone navigates grief differently, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to coping with unresolved loss. Here are a few strategies that can help you build emotional resilience.

Identify Your Grief

Try to accept the ambiguity of the situation. You may never get closure. That’s okay.

Instead, try to identify the emotions you’re experiencing due to an unresolved loss. Having the words to identify your feelings can validate your experience.

Write down these emotions and all the changes you’ve experienced since losing your loved one. Share this list with a friend, family member, or therapist. Sharing your emotions can further validate them.

It’s normal to feel a mix of complex emotions in these situations. You may feel distress and gratitude or relief and sadness. Try to embrace these conflicting feelings without fear of judgment.

Avoid comparing your emotions with anyone else’s. Everyone’s response to loss is unique.

According to Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health and the Butler Columbia Aging Center, losing someone close to you can make you age faster. Failing to acknowledge and navigate your grief can affect your mental and physical well-being. Instead of suppressing your feelings, try to accept and let them go.

Perform Ceremonies

After the death of a loved one, it’s common to perform ceremonies in their honor. Funerals, wakes, and celebrations of life can provide us with closure. We don’t have these opportunities after an unresolved loss.

Consider hosting your own ceremonial activities to find closure. For example, you can:

Plant a tree in their honor
Write your loved one a letter
Perform symbolic or religious rituals

Try to perform these ceremonies with friends or family members who knew your loved one. Having them close will ensure you have support while validating the loss.

Seek Support

You don’t have to navigate these feelings of grief and uncertainty alone. Instead, seek support through:

Friends
Family members
Peer groups
Book clubs
Sports clubs

Consider seeking professional help through a helpline, therapist, or grief counselor. They can offer support and coping techniques as you navigate your grief.

According to the National Library of Medicine, persistent social isolation is a predictor of:

Increased mortality rates
Senior mental health disorders (depression, anxiety, etc.)
Cardiovascular problems

Some people isolate themselves as a coping mechanism while grieving. However, it can be detrimental to your mental and physical well-being. Instead, try to ask for help.

Visit your local senior living community for helpful resources during this time. You can build a community of friends who understand what you’re going through. Sharing your experiences can help you find the empathy and support you need to cope with your grief.

Try to open up to others about your loss. This can make the feelings more bearable.

Embrace Self-Care

Try to take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as:

Pursuing hobbies
Exercising
Meditation
Journaling

Ambiguous grief can cause feelings of dissociation, uncertainty, and loss of control. When your anxiety spikes, try meditation and mindfulness-based techniques.

Performing acts of self-care can help you recharge. Try to:

Be kind to yourself
Allow yourself to feel
Talk it out and express your feelings
Do something that brings you joy daily
Not set a deadline for yourself
Communicate what you need (or don’t)
Laugh when you can
Get enough sleep
Eat nutritious meals
Make a routine
Exercise
See your doctor

If you’re struggling to maintain a routine or take care of yourself, consider joining a senior living community. Their health and wellness programs will ensure you receive care and encouragement.

Improving your mental and physical health can bolster your emotional resilience. You may have an easier time navigating your grief.

Prioritize Senior Mental Health Today

Ambiguous loss can cause feelings of grief and uncertainty, but there are ways to cope. Apply these techniques to build your emotional resilience. Remember, you can always ask members of your senior living community for help and support.

Look no further than SummerHouse Ashton Manor. Our community offers comfortable living options, 24-hour care, and engaging social activities for a maintenance-free lifestyle.

Enjoy our exclusive lifestyle programs to feel fulfilled and taken care of. Contact us now to schedule a tour.